one step at a time

I have fantastic news. I was offered a job today! It's part-time so it works well with my schedule now and it is in a lovely museum where I will be surrounded by some of the most famous modern art in the world!! It's almost the exact same job I had while at school, but still, wow. It makes me happy to think I'll be doing something (part-time) in an amazing place where I'll get paid. Time will tell if I end up loving it like I think I will. I will report back on the subject.

While that is great news I also have some sort of not really fantastic news. Late last night, before I knew I had the job, I was thinking about how much it will cost me to get to the museum and then I was thinking about how much of my paycheck that will be and then how I don't know if I want to do something like this for the rest of my life and then how I need to save for graduate school and then what exactly I wanted to study in graduate school and then about all of the prerequisites I don't have to get into some programs and how am I going to save for graduate school and then how am I going to save for a car at the same time. That run-on sentence is exactly how my mind was working but maybe 10x worse. I pretty much had a mini panic attack at 1 in the morning. I am going to start this job which is awesome, I have been writing this whole time about how getting a job will make me feel better, but it has pretty much just made me even more scared for the future. I said the future was bright a few posts ago but now it was starting to look a little bleak. I am on a roller coaster with my feelings, no doubt.

Today my mom and I had a conversation about what I was thinking about last night and of course she had comforting words because she is my mom and she always does. She said that I need to take things once at a time and that I'm young and I have a lot of time to do things. I need to remember that I am young and if somethings don't work out I have my whole life ahead of me to figure things out. This doesn't just go for jobs, it goes for everything. I think working at art camp with 5-11 year olds has made me feel way older than I actually am. Thanks, children, I am not that much older than you! She also said that she and my dad (and of course everyone else in my family) were there for me and it made me really thankful to have such a great home.

From now on I will try to take a step back, breathe, and take things one at a time. You should try that too.

Until next time,

Caroline