anxiety

One time a friend (not really a friend anymore) said that I didn't hang out with her as much because I had anxiety about leaving my house. I don't remember her ever getting her PhD in psychology but after thinking about what she said I've become much more aware of things I do have anxiety about (I am self-diagnosing myself now). One thing that I've written about before has been graduating. I get a little panicky when I remember that it is only in a matter of months. Probably the next biggest thing I get anxious about is money. I wrote that one of my New Year's resolutions was to be better with my money and I guess that means also trying to calm down about it. If I act smarter about what I spend my money on then I will calm down about it. So far I have been good but it has only been two weeks into the new year.

I want to get a job after I graduate and I want to make money and I want to not have to depend on other people. That's just another thing to add to the long list of things I get anxious about. I feel like if I was totally self-sufficient I wouldn't be like this. If that ever happens I will let you all know if the feeling has changed. 

Listening to music really helps calm myself down. When I want to be alone I put in my headphones and it creates a sort of barrier between myself and the world. Any anxiety subsides and I can breathe easier. Cleaning my makeup brushes has always been therapeutic too. Also lying on my back with my feet propped up over my head is comforting. Haha I'm weird but hey, whatever works, right? 

Anxiety doesn't have to be something that disables me. If I work hard I can reach my goals. I can get a job after I graduate and I can get out of debt! It's time to do homework.

Until next time,

Caroline