having it all (can you though?)

It's weird how things can seem to go so well for a while and then all of a sudden things do a 180. Literally 45 minutes ago I was happy, doing my homework, watching the Nats beat the Marlins. Life was good. Then, I started to look at h&m's website, which was a horrible idea and I got a few texts that were weird and then I got into a mood that is quite the opposite of "life is good".

To make matters worse, I was on Twitter and I saw a tweet from one of the really popular beauty gurus on YouTube. Well, it was a tweet from her boyfriend. It said something along the lines of, "Going to see a band with so-and-so. She is kind of excited. Emoji emoji." What a freaking perfect relationship you are in. Your boyfriend gets you concert tickets to probably your favorite band ever, surprises you with them, takes you to this concert, and probably loves you very much. Wow, I am so unbelievably bitter right now. This girl, whose boyfriend is very caring and sweet, has it all. She is extremely good at what she does (and very successful), she is so beautiful, she has a great relationship, she actually has the perfect apartment. She has it all! Granted, her father died when she was either in her late teens or early 20s, I'm not sure. She must be reminded of that constantly, which is probably extremely painful. I know if my father died at any age of my life up to now I would be an absolute wreck everyday. So while I'm down in the dumps because I can't afford to buy a new bathing suit at the moment I still have my dad to call up, hear his voice, and see him if I just drove up 95.

I guess while I am so lucky to have my dad around I am not so lucky in the success, looks, and relationship. I'd rather have it that way though. I mean, I'd like to be a little more lucky in my relationship and maybe have some success but beggars can't be choosers.

All of these problems I'm having that make life so not good right now are all first-world problems that are so small and insignificant in the scheme of things. I always get like this and then get to that conclusion. I hate my internal conflicts. Things aren't always going to be like they are now. In 10 years, you never know, I could be in a happy relationship, maybe with kids, maybe with a job I like, and probably forgot about this day and whatever dumb things that made me upset. Or maybe my life didn't end up like that but I can promise you I will have forgotten the dumb things from today.

I feel like this is a good place to end this. I hope you know if you are reading this your life is probably vastly better than you think it is.

Until tomorrow,

Caroline